Episode 6: The Key to Overcoming Your Inner Critic
As I sit down to pour my thoughts onto this page, I see the irony in what I’m about to discuss — feelings of imposter syndrome, and overall, letting your own mind bully you into submission. I can’t help but think of the inner critic that used to have a loudspeaker in my mind. That voice, you know the one, always finding something to pick at, a flaw to highlight, a mistake to magnify. It’s like having a constant companion, but not the friendly kind. This inner bully has been my shadow for so long, chattering away about what I should have done differently, how I could have been better, thinner, smarter, more successful. Anything to be improved upon (which is next to everything), took up space in my head.
The thing about this inner critic is that it’s a master at camouflage. It disguises itself as the voice of reason, urging me to strive for perfection. But perfection? That’s an illusion. I’ve come to realize that the beauty lies in the imperfect, the messy, and the real.
Overcoming this relentless negativity wasn’t an overnight feat, and I’m still working on it every single day. It took baby steps, much like tiptoeing through a dark room or walking on eggshells. One flicker of light, for me, was recognizing that this inner critic isn’t my truth; it’s simply an echo of fears, insecurities, and societal pressures.
Overcoming your own inner critic is a process of approaching, stumbling, and eventually jumping over many hurdles. First, I had to give myself permission to be flawed. To understand that those imperfections, the quirks, the scars, they’re what make me beautifully human. It’s okay to stumble, to have off days, and to make mistakes. Embracing these imperfections was like reclaiming a part of myself that I’d been denying for far too long.
I began to challenge that inner critic. Instead of absorbing every negative comment, I questioned its validity. Was it really true that I wasn’t good enough? Or was it just fear disguising itself in harsh words? This shift in perspective was like a breath of fresh air, slowly dissipating the suffocating fog of self-doubt. I began to ask myself the question “Who said this? Who in your life do you know who thinks this way about you?” Oftentimes, it was absolutely no one, except myself, of course. Ding, ding, ding — there’s an inner critic for you.
Another pivotal moment in overcoming my inner critic was surrounding myself with positivity. I sought out friends and mentors who uplifted me, who saw the potential within me even when I couldn’t. My college roommate, for example, continuously stops me mid-sentence if I’m expressing a negative or lowly thought of myself, which has actually been a great tool in helping me recognize the way I talk to myself.
But perhaps the most significant leap forward was practicing self-compassion. Treating myself with the same kindness and understanding that I readily offer to others. It meant forgiving myself for past mistakes, giving myself grace during tough times, and celebrating even the smallest victories.
In the midst of this journey, I discovered something profound: the power of affirmations. Simple phrases like “I am enough,” “I deserve happiness,” and “I am capable” have acted as anchors, grounding me in moments of self-doubt. They aren’t just words (as I initially believed); they are lifelines, gently steering me towards self-acceptance.
And so, as we stand on the cusp of a new year, I urge you, dear reader, to join me in this journey of quieting the inner critic. It won’t be a smooth road, but it’s worth every step. Start by acknowledging that voice but don’t let it define you. Challenge its harshness, embrace your imperfections, and shower yourself with kindness.
Set intentions rather than resolutions. Let this year be about nurturing self-love, about taking baby steps towards self-acceptance. Surround yourself with those who lift you higher, who see the sparkle in your eyes even when the world feels dim.
Create a toolbox of self-care practices: journaling, meditating, dancing wildly in your room — whatever fills your cup. And don’t forget the power of gratitude. Each day, find something to be thankful for, even if it’s as simple as the warmth of sunlight on your face.
Remember, you are not alone in this journey. We’re all learning to silence that inner critic, to embrace ourselves with open arms. In every stumble, every moment of doubt, and even every triumph, know that you are enough. You are worthy of love, of kindness, of all the happiness in the world.
